OMG!! Waldo's caught and suffocating under all those wires!!

So i guess the Raiders lost or something, i dunno, i dont follow fooseball much. I wasnt there, but i hear there was a massive bunch of grunting and hitting involved. Side note: i wasnt at the mall, but i heard there was also a massive bunch of grunting and hitting involved. The usual. Speaking of cats, I think im more cat than person. Not to say cats arent people, i mean, i eat both, but thats not the point. Ya see folks, it didnt dawn unto my teeny gathering of brain cells that i was in fact of the feline genus until after looking at myself in the mirror. No, i didnt have any of the normal vivual appearances of a cat nor was i making any cat like meows or anything, i think its my habits that tipped me off. See, Katt has this tendency to do but three things, four if you count being an asshole. Three if you count cat's inability to normally attain said feat. These three are this. ONE, He takes naps like if he does it often enough he will earn a great medal or something. A really big medal. Hey, so does NINJA! TWO, he sheds about his weight in hair every couple of minutes. I shed about his weight in hair every couple of minutes. Having long hair, aside from allowing normals to pinpoint the nerd out of a crowd seems to have this as it's main purpose: falling to the ground. Perhaps this was a way to track where one had been when maps and computers and GPS systems (PIN number) were unavailable. Perhaps i need less stress and more not-stress. THREE, can scale walls like a really really fat gecko. Ok, so he one ups me on this one, but im working on it. Fat AND wall scalability. Man, cant beat that.

 

Chappelle's Show. "HAHA, he said something ethnic."
I fail to give any ramens on this one as ive only caught one show. And this one show ranged from good to not so good. You know what, fuck it, ill rate it at least on initial value.

Ill have to come back with some more thoughts. The show itself had some interesting writing but too much of it was reaching for a laugh. Chappelle is a really funny guy and i kinda want his show to succeed where other's didnt but some of them writers need a fucking pen in their eyes. For, you know...luck! I think its on Wednesdays at 10:30PST or something. Check it out, tell us what you think.

 

And thus the hammer fell and the giant, once whole and hearty, too fell to the might of it's own breaking insides. Thus the giant fell. Welcome to the beginning of the end. Moore decided that taking a rather large chainsaw he called "marketing" into the guts of Sega America wasnt enough, he had bigger corporations to destroy. We, the little people, salute you for taking down the oppression that is the people with motivation to become someone. Thank you. They were making us look bad.


Smilebit's Mukaiyama speaks! Panzer Dragoon Saga Sequel? Things taken out of context?! Its all inside 'Level's interview.


There was a free copy of The Getaway that was for the perusal of many but one person spoiled it for everybody. Damn this person. Damn her...er, i mean, them to hell.


The Phantom. What a perfectly good name to a new gaming system to which no one, seemingly, not even the creators knows what it truly does. Does it play PC games? Whats inside? What games will it play? Who's making these games? Does it cook toast? Who knows. Better yet, who cares?

 

Got some background in film? Like ninjas? Like games published by Sony with ninjas IN them? Does caltrops and colored rice sound familiar? Ive found just your ticket outta that box you call a shack, er, home.

 

Got a chance to play a little Zelda today. Im still shaking. It seems they've captured the vibe of the Super's Link to the Past to a godamn 'T', mutha fuckas. And come march its a good ol fashioned, mickey mouse go. The actual play is alot tighter than i had expected. Not 'tight' as in 'hey, turn up that emenem, my nizza, that shit is tight' more the 'geez, its the 80s and my pants are too tight'. Yeah, the battle engine was instantly engaging and easy to pick up. Very Zelda64 in this way. Anyways, im sure to have another taste when the game gets nearer to launch. Feb 17 the "bonus" disc should be here. Yum.

 

Trailers which have caught my eye.
And they wont give it back.
Fucking dumb eye st0l0rz.
-Oo Oo, new Daredevil trailer? Please.

-Hey, something has finally surfaced from its deep dark lair. Hulk has a face. And its pissed.
-While we are on a Marvel run why not throw this one back in here. It has something to do with X. And something to do with ponies. I tell no lie.
-Identity looks interesting. Maybe its because it sees something interesting.
-Dumb and Dumber prequel. I dont need to say anything, the prospect is funny enough.
-ARR!

-Again with the spike lee. Oi.

---


Games Ninja is playing at the moment:
-Final Fantasy VII

-Ghost Recon XBox Live
-Gitaroo Man

-Panzar Dragoon Orta

-Ikaruga DC

-Cap V SNK2 DC
-SamSpirits NeoGeo (soon...)

Ninja
"You ain't leading but two things right now: Jack and Shit.And Jack just left town."

So here I sit in my dorm room, watching a dorm-mate play my GC PSO, as I listen to 'Crowded Elevator' by Incubus... and stare at my pretty new desktop wallpaper made by my best ninja-buddy. Ahhh... Secret of Mana... I love thee. Just had my first rehearsal for As You Like It, and I know right now... I?m gonna' love being in this show. If I could squeeze anymore respect I have for our director into my head... it just might pop like a ripe whitehead. Anyway, song's over... next one is... 'Echo', by none other than Incubus. It's funny... I just felt like writing, so I opened up Word and out came this piddle. Ooh! I know what to talk about! My script! My script is being used! By two people even! Two people I cherish in my life! Whoo! The Pong brothers... two of my best friends, and both of whom I have a whole shit-load of respect for. I don't think either of them really realizes how fucking much it means to me that they are using my little script. Well... now they do... (*psst!* Ninja's one of 'em!) Next song! 'Dio'! Good ol' Tenacious D! Okay... so next topic. Shit! Song's too short! Next song... 'Nebula'... Incubus again for the ill-informed. I'm sorry for this post King. I just need to write buddy... you understand. On the video game front for me... nothing other than PSO really. I'm re-addicted... wonderful ain't it? I've not played much more other than GTA: Vice City. It's still the same whore-beating, cop-killing, pedestrian-spooting romp it was before... only set in the 80's!! Genius! Next song... 'Subterranean Homesick Alien', by Radiohead. So mellow, so meaningful. I think I'm beginning to calm down. Note to self: Don't eat Lucky Charms straight out of the box when trying to get to sleep. Well... this song's so nice... I think I may just hit the hay. Night to you all! I love all my friends! I love my family! I'm really enjoying life! To those of you out there who aren't quite having the best time with yours... please... learn to look at things from a different perspective. You will thank yourself.

Shinhobbes
"Burninating the countryside...!"

Ninja
"Your destruction is the will of the gods. And we are their instruments."

But there are so many to choose from Ninja-sama, perhaps i will take the red one. No, the other red one.

ZZzz.. getaway... must play soon... zzz...

 

Panzar Dragoon Orta... They done did the series all good.

I still cant believe smilebit and company did it. The demo is almost an altogether different game when set side by side to the very same level on the shipped version. If you have not played this game make it a preferential point to do so. If you have the chance to play it in 5.1 sound, for the love of all things good in gaming, DO SO. Note: its not like your ears will melt outta their...earsockets? but just hearing an enemy coming at you from all around you before meeting the business end of a bullet is something special. This game is much more deep shooter than it is eyecandy, ive found. Though the actual visual spectacularity is quite high (possibly the purdiest thang on the 'box) it barely rivals the gameplay-ee-goodness. Its deep but simple, the two things shooting fans know makes for a game of legend. I might even like this one better than the original AND zwei (Azel/Saga doesnt count, different genre). I dont know yet as the pure dazzle is still dancing in my eyeballs as it ebs its way from my nerves to my brain, whom is STILL trying to process it all well after ive put down my controller and also made a sandwich. If you HAVENT played the at least the first one, shame shame, SB was nice enough to include the first game in its entirety as an extra. What a bunch of swell mates.This coupled with the bunch of extra's in its "Pandora's Box" makes this one ripe for replay. Hell, im gonna reply though this thing with or without goodies. Hmm... do i have any disapointments? Well, it'd be nice if the game in conjunction with my Xbox would cook me breakfast every once and awhile. Yeah, thats about the ONLY thing that i can think would make the Panzer experience better.


I also hear there's a sequel to SAGA coming out depending on the sales of Orta. Oh my lordy.


War of the Monsters. Why wasnt Godzilla like THIS?

At $39.99 this game, Incog Inc's second PS2 game, is worth pickin up.

Here be a new vid of Virtua Cop 3, Arr!

Again with the DevilMayCry trailer and the oy... Not so much on gameplay, a very slick liveaction/fmv eye-gourge-fest.

---


The My God Im Gonna Be Sick Site of the Day:
Chrissy Caviar

Ninja
"Alohaoy, Alohaoy"

Yeah, you just wait till i grab my other ax - what the?! AAA! Heihachi!
or
Heihachi hid his keys in his ass again. Luckily, playful Astaroth is around to retrieve them.

A few games of note came out today: The Sims, War of the Monsters and Panzar Dragoon. I picked up the latter two. Something about having my Sims run missions doesnt appeal to me. Sort of like how the 6 or so (not exaggerating) expansion packs seem to have flown below my radar.

 

Ok, ok, i know i reviewed Ghost Recon already, but hey, its worth another run, i think, now that ive gotten deep into the online element.

And its not so much the fact that UbiSoft was nice enough to kick down a copy for the Agenda, neither. We've gotten plenty of games that, for a lack of a better, more flowery term, suck. This one does little sucking. Not unless you count what happens with time when you play this game online. I noted before that the game was fairly rich in its über realistic gameplay and while shooting AI heads is alot of fun the real worth of the game comes when you have XBox live. Most folks i managed to play online have been of utmost courtesy and good gamership. Most. Its surprisingly more fun when you talk to your teammates and they respond as opposed to when you yell at your AI teammates and your cat gives you a look like 'im outta here, freak'.

 

Battle Engine Aquilla XBox. Alot of slick goes a long way.

Infogrames, always with the love, has a promising new label with a past etched in history, Atari. Now while the 'grames (as the kids call it*) did little more than sweep up the dying brand name, nothing but fairly games. Now, i say fairly solid cause Testdrive is also under the label. Neverwinternights, Stuntman, the Unreals and now Battle Engine Aquilla have all fallen into its sweet soft gaming arms. Ok, now name background aside this game is surprisingly well made. Sure it screams low budget, euro shooter but its ahead of the pact when it comes to solid construction. I wont go into it too much but i really get drawn into the game when i play. At first i was too busy scoffing at the simple mechanics and the mission objectives but it wasnt before long that i noticed i was having alot of fun. The game itself is setup with very little button memorization, something i think games these days have gotten way outta hand with. There is a bit of forgotten muscle memory that i had to call back on as ive not played a good flight shooter in a LONG while. Well, half flight shooter anyways. The other half of your time will be spent walking around stomping on the little people whom have called your a nerd since you were a kid. My favorite part. This game seems alittle on the skimpy side, all the missions can be beat in about as much time as it takes to sit through the first two LotR. Wow. That was dumb reference. Anyways, but LostToys seems to make with the hidden features for unlocking to keep you going back into each mission to score better...well, scores. Each time you beat a mission you are given a letter grade, E to A then to S. Boy do they go overboard with the unlockable hidden features. The list takes about a minute or so to just scroll all the way through. Now, for all the upsides there a few downsides. The missions sometimes can seem a bit too redundant and the varied amount of things to blow up dont seem so varied when they react the same way to every thing to throw at em. But still, not a bad buy. But right now there are alot of better ones i can think of.

The No Bullshit Announcement of the Day: Soul Calibur's new home characters have been announced. You will NOT believe what im about to tell you, but make like Neo and just believe.

-XBox : Spawn. Yes, THAT spawn. Todd Mc designed other characters for the home versions too, but the cloaked mofo with chains is only on the XBox ver.

-PS2 : Heihachi. Uh, yay? Thats not as big news as...

-GameCube: LINK! I dont know how the FUCK Namco pulled this one off, but the green-garbed one is a go for the GC roster. Holy poopmonster, batman!

Yeah, ill be sure to have some pics up soon for you guys, right now im huntin' for em.


Wow, i guess IGN isnt afraid to sell what little honor and integrity left to soda pop. Hey, nothing says fresh new gaming news like a nice sip of Cocacola!

 

Download's site hit 10000 hits! W00t!


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The Homestarrunner site of the Day:
homestarrunner.com

Ninja
"i drew a line for you, oh what a thing to do"

Ninja
"ITS ALF! Remember Alf, Bart? He's BACK! In pog form!"

Ninja
"Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab."

Also a great place to hold your meat paddies! Wow!

Zzz... Cant type playing serious sam.

 

Nintendo didnt think Eleventy Billion Zillion Gameboys floating around in the pockets of the world was enough, they had to go and make a new one. This one's called the GameBoyAdvanceSP. The "SP" stands for, surprise, 'special'. Something this one certainly is. Both negatively and positively. First of all, as you can see from the pi above: Its kinda got a flip-open, clam-shell look to it. Kinda 1980's style but hey, its what it does thats long-awaited, it has a BUILT IN LIGHT. Shizam. Sort of like a futuristic throwback to the old GBLight, only this one is coming to the states. March 24th ish in fact is the word. It comes out in late feb for you importers out there. It should be about 9900 yen or so (99bucks US). IGN, as always, hooks it up with the US box art already. This little thing has all sorts of goodies packed in. Its feature list seems to be compiled from a list of everything people didnt like about the GBA. Aside from the "front lit" light it also has a lithium battery and comes with AC adaptor, smaller form factor, something to protect the screen, and easier to reach L and R buttons. I dunno about how the control pad and the A and B buttons are gonna be as they are recessed into the unit so the screen wont rub up next to it like that one always drunk cousin you have with you. The case kinda looks like Nintendo stole alot from Apple's iBooks.

Speaking of which, this is year's Macworld is sadly being missed by me. Eh. Alot of new thangs for me to wish for. Smaller G4 powerbooks, for one. Apple again with the world's first. 17incher of a powerbook. The keys light up according to the room's ambient light, has firewire800 support. Jeebus.

 

Serious Sam XBox, 10 bucks.
(1 1/2 ramen for system link and value)

At EB there's a sale going down where you can buy Serious Sam for the XBox for TEN US DOLLARS. Not too shabby. Its a decent game but id only recommend it for its gigantic levels of nothing but blowing shit up. ... or system link. Of which it even has 8 player co-op. Its also rather long. It took my bro and i about 5 or so hours to burn through the first half of the game. Thats quite the feat considering his XBox is better used as the dvd table its normal function contained is. Its hard enough to get the two of us together to play us some XBox link first of all so i started up the game i was ecstatic. The pairing is reminiscent of Zombies Ate My Neighbors, another blow everything to shit classic. I admit, jumping to something like this after playing halo made the production's production value, or rather, lack thereof, readily apparent. The graphic detailing is very high in the game, to its own merit and everything runs 60s 99% of the time. With alittle of this stuff here im insured to be able to play this (and halo) till both my eyes have dried to prunes and the muscle atrophy is so great i wont be able to hold a controller. Thank you science!

 

Wow, i guess that fandabuloustic SNK's HK site is up now. In engrish too! Sweet. As a side note, KOF2002 has been announced for PS2 AND DC.

This is REALLY old stuff here, but any little bit of the developer making with the random funny is a plus.

 

First G4 TV now this? I shoulda figured. A Video Game Awards Show has been along time in the making. I wonder if itll be way drawn out of proportion and based on facades like every other awards show. Anyone know where the site for TNN resides?

Zelda needs to come out faster! Here is my favorite tv ad for the game to end all zelda games on gamecube coming out in a few months. EVER.

Speak it brutha.

Now, there's a special place in my heart for Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction but i dunno about this one. If anyone person is a random fanatic of GungFu its Tarantino. But something about this one... i dunno. Checkout the trailer for Kill Bill and judge for yourself.

This has to be the funniest spoof site on the net. Wait, what do you mean its NOT a spoof?! FUCK BEANS!!!! Be sure to checkout the trailer too. Given you want to loose any and all will to live. They shoulda paid the kid 15 bucks instead of 10. He at least would have had more crayons to build the site with.

Capcom with the DMC2 loving. This snippet is a MUST see for any of you Devil May Cry fans.


Finally saw Spiderman. Raimi pulls it off.

Wow, i love Spiderman and i love Sam Raimi, but for some reason this flic bid off-color for me when i first read the two would be strung together. I kinda wish it was still in threaters.

Crimson Sea Xbox.

I think the only two reasons i liked this one was because the level hub system reminds me of PSO how it should be and the fact its possible to rack up 900 hit combos. Its rather fun but seems hollow. If it were 40 bucks id buy it. The one thing Koei can do is mass carnage. From the same makers of Dynasty Warriors, of course.

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Times Ninja's Computer Has Bit it Hard: 35
Name for main boot HD: HDMaxwell'sSilverHammer x35

Ninja
"MY EYES! THE GOGGLES, DO NOTHING!'

Ninja
"Its a wildcat destabilization of the main reactor core!"

Ninja
"I cannot tella lie. You are so stupid."