Minority Report. I saw this movie the other day and I had a wonderful time. Some people saw this movie and felt it was a large turd smack-dab on their forehead. I'm willing to bet these people went into the movie theatre with the mind-set, "Yay!! Steven Spielberg AND Tom Cruise! This movie's gonna' be exactly what I've been looking for all of my life... ever!" They were disappointed... so they hated it. "Poo on this movie!" they say, "This movie was definitely not all I've been looking for all of my life ever!" And they lived unhappily ever after.

 

The Moral: Don't expect a movie to be ANYTHING!! Just go and have fun!! FUCK!!

 

I don't know if any of you people out there actually read a previous post of mine. It had to do with me not getting into UCLA. Anyway... that still holds true. I still didn't get into UCLA. However... it seems the UC system likes to share their college applications. Or... I sold my soul to the devil HOWEVER it happened, the University of California in Riverside got a hold of my life on paper. I guess they liked it, 'cause they went right out and accepted me. So... it seems I will be going to UCR. So far, all of the people I've talked to at that campus have been really, really nice. Very unlike UCLA... where all you get is an automated telephone system. FUN! Frankly, UCR has impressed me a lot more than UCLA has. I don't know what I was thinking in the first place. UCLA is poopy!

ShinHobbes
"Blast!"

Ninja
"i dig by toes into the sand, the ocean looks a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket"

Sure Benga has a furry animal-thing, freaky clothes and a big drum... but does he have love?

Y - M - C - A... X
And Yoshiro wonders why he had no friends...

So its like this: i have to wake up in a few hours so no links, YET.

 

I got a chance to play a little bit o Stuntman today. I must say those chaps in England sure know how to make a smash em up game :) Reflections, said chaps, have constructed a fine game and concept outta what seems to be very much so based on their other small game, Driver. Im talkin bout the GOOD Driver, not the "oh, how about i get outta my car for no damn reason" Driver. Not to be confused. Anyways, i liked what little i did sample, though the omission of a turn-off-autohandbrake option can be a little frustrating. The game is all finesse. A narrator kind of talks you through the stunts one by one as you do them sort of like that funny little man-thing on your shoulder you dont listen to, you know, your conscience. I found just trying over and over to get a certain stunt right is highly enjoyable as well as addictive... as well as challenging.... as well as... sexy. I dunno. The first few "movies" you perform in start out quite low budget and the stunts kinda simple: "turn left here!", "hit those boxes", "breath with your lungs!" commands like this are fairly easy to follow unless you dont like taking commands from nobody. In that case, get outta my house and get a job, ya rebel! The DVD also has a bunch of vids to keep you occupied if actually playing the game gives you hives or something. With The Making Of, trailers and other goodies its almost like that way overpriced copy of Surf Ninjas:Special Edition you bought! Only this disc wont get you beat up by the likes of normal, sane people. Check it out, it COMES out on the 24th.

 

Minority Report. Thumbs up. Cell Phones at the movie theatre. Thumbs down. Armless, French types. No thumbs.

---


Top 5 things to do when a cell phone goes off while watching a movie:

5. Shove the phone up their ass

4. Place the cell into their anus

2. Insert talkin-porto-box into usually not insertable place. Preference: Anus.

1. Kill them, by shoving your thumbs into their goddam ocular cavities.

Ninja
"the price is WRONG, bitch!"

Spidey's temp looks... familiar...

RRARR...er, i mean, i wanna shake your hand... both of em.. yeah...

What was that noise?

Lets see, lets see...

Well, i forgot to link that Mario Universe movie in my last post. So, here it is. Oh, and here too. Im sure you have seen em already but indulge yourself again in the thing that is stupidity among us. The thinking the game as a GBA joint, that is.

 

MacHall recently did a little strip about Return to CastleWolfenstein and since ive been playing Metal Of Honor lately, which also includes Nazis (or what i like to call "Moving, Swearing Targets"), it still hit a bone. PC users BEWARE its on a... ... mac games site but dont worry, we wont tell the others if you take a peek >;)

 

Ive been meaning to post this little bit o news awhile ago so its prolly dated old poop to you. But ima gonna do it anyways... The Army Gets Into Game Development. I dont want to really say anything YET. Ive heard my ears full from both sides of the argument. People whom dont like the propaganda because the evil is in the empire et al. And people whom dont so much MIND the army making games so long as they can shoot the bad peoples in their faces. SO, i decided why not make the topic the poll of the month, since Shinhobbes is draggin his ass. I think we will leave it up for an extra month seeing as how this is already the 18th.

 

NEW screenies of Panzar Orta!! Bump mapping.. TO THE X-TREME! Sorry.

 

For all you PSOers out there: PSO for the BOX. The hud looks... weird... You can use the Voice communicator to REALLY chat with your buds now, you can even change the sound of your voice via software! WEEE!

 

Tekki/Steel Battalion's price has been set at a cool 19800 yen. About 200 bucks US. If you didnt hear, this is the game that comes with that 40 button controller three times the size of the console it runs on, XBox.

---


Hardware sales in Japan rankings:

System	May 27 - Jun 02	Total Sales in 2002
PlayStation 2	56,772	1,875,385
GameBoy Advance	35,097	1,163,685
Xbox	5,912	222,601
GameCube	4,118	441,087
PSone	3,729	137,983
WonderSwan Color	2,024	64,771
GameBoy Color	1,567	73,719

Ninja
"his best power: the invisible GANK. If in your wallet there isnt no bank ya con-tact supa feen with telepathy, he says 'you need crack,man? i need amphetamines!'"

Gigantic Translucent Watermelon must be in season.

Hola, niños!

I think im gonna leave this post short, my few brain cells are wafting up and out of my head right now. Pushed 70+ hours a week is starting to collect it's bills. Of course, NOT playing HALO and NOT playing Way of the Samurai and ACTUALLY getting some sleep would help. Thats what people say anyways. People inside my TV. Anyways...

 

Someone whom loves windows so much it clouds their normal judgment of what is right and suck decided to bash the new Apple commercials right in front of me. I guess they were about real life accounts detailing people's discovery into the world Mac, from the world PC. You all know how much i actually watch TV so it was all fucking news to me. Anyways, this guy was waxing on about how HIS comp has a gig of RAM and a convenient place to insert his wang into or whatever and how the new Mac ads are nothing but a bunch of "gay fag stuff" (end quote). After watching the vids i think its safe to say that they are devoid of any obvious homosexual hintings and things pertaining to only "stuff". I actually dig the new ads. Though a Mac is my primary comp i HAVE been known to boot up PCs from time to time. Maybe i AM an elitist but those damn commercials make a place in my heart get all warm and shit. Its like someone had placed my heart in an oven for a few minutes and placed the bloody organ right back where it belonged. Only upon its return it became only a little bit more proud of it's favorite machine of choice. Apple i dont know how you do it.

 

Way of the samurai. Yay. Thank you Spike, BAM and Acquire. By the folks who fashioned the sometimes imperfect always fun Ninja franchise, Tenchu. Even though this ISNT Tenchu 3 (its being made by another company) ive found this game to be HIGHLY enjoyable. There ARE ninja swords though :D This game is effectively parts Tenchu, Bashido Blade and Grand Theft Auto 3. It has a very simple but very challenging and skillfull battle engine, a fun two player battle mode (unlockable) and an open ended storyline that involves everyone in its living world. Ive played through the game a few dozen times now and each time has been different. Sometimes a game will last for only 5 minutes, other times upto 6+ hours. The game centers around the ability to find swords off fallen enemies and "learn" new moves for each as well as fix up other attributes. There have been many a game where i would find a cool weapon and immedieatly leave the game so that upon my death i wouldnt lose it along with everything else i am carrying, hence the 5 minute games. This is the type of game where you can pretty much do anything and everything. If you come across a couple of rivals duking it out you can choose to intervene and stop it or even join the fight. Even decide to pass it up and go get some grub instead. Everything you do effects you in the future. Lets say you started a battle with one of those two foes by calling him a "pig-headed creep" and you beat him to near death, you can choose to let him go and he will repay you for your humanity by helping you later. All the while pissing off the other d00d. Its truly a fun and interesting game with reply up the digital wazoo. I think this sold pretty well, though i have this feeling that it will fall into cult status soon. I dunno, just one of those feelin's.

 

D00m3 goodies! Gee, how can YOU tell this was written by an englishman?

 

The following PREVIEW has been approved for ALL AUDIENCES by the Motion Picture Association of America. My godamn ass.

 

Please dont suck - PLEASE dont suck - This better not suck.

 

OMG! WHAT SIDE DO I TAKE?!?! NOOOO!!!

 

Reel of Nintendo products. GBA game with GBA tag right before Gamecube footage of "Mario Universe". Dont let yer stupidity run away with you again. Thats what we are for.

---


How many licks does it take yo get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

Answer: who cares.

Ninja
"i like to be in ameri-DOH!"

"Jack, unlike the others, rather liked his privacy when he masturbated."

Well, I am back... again. Actually... I've been back for quite some time... but I'm lazy. Where did I come back from? Mexico... on a cruise... a big boat... to Mexico... with girls... there was water... we drank booze... strippers... people shining shoes... more booze... good god there was a lot of booze... and booze... booze... a very disturbing 'Chest-Hair Contest'... booze. Did I have a good time? Eh... not really.

 

I got Diablo II. I bought the BattleChest. So I actually got Diablo II: Lord of Destruction. I played Daiblo II: Lord of Destruction. I got my character to level 29. My computer froze. I now have a corrupt, saved game file. I can't get to my character. I stopped playing Diablo II: Lord of Destruction. At least, for the time being.

 

West Side Story. Most of you have to have heard of this show. An extremely popular Broadway musical, done and redone by high schools and colleges across the country. The show I am currently in is none other than West Side Story. I play a Jet... the youngest, who goes by the name of Baby John. In this show... I am Baby J. Please... no BJ jokes. I get enough of those from cast members. Namely big, fat guys. Don't ask. Ninja is also in this show. He plays a Shark. We get to kick each others ass at one point. Happy, happy, happy... joy, joy, joy!!

[Ninja: for the record i dont "play" a "shark" i "play" a "chark". I dont know why 'play' is in quotation marks]

ShinHobbes
"Stinkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!"

ALRIGHT! WE - ARE - HERE!!
Lets get THIS ParTAY STARTED!!
WOOO! ...
Hey, where is everyone else's costumes?

Busy busy busy as usual. I gotta keep myself in as much as possible. The "new" Cubebasis has me writing music again and i dont think i have time for that. I also finally acquired an XBox. I say "acquired" to help denote that the means in which i uh, 'quired it were not that of a normal route. Long story. I think it was the new article of Panzar Dregoon Orta in XBN (Z/D) grabbed me by my testicles - through my eyes, as i was viewing the fairly impressive screenies - that broke the last brick. Now, im usually not the one to pick a game on screen shots alone but with Akihiko Mukaiyama (former of Team Andromeda, creators of the Panzer series that has long since disbanded) at the helm and Smilebit as his digital henchmen i am hoping this one turns out as le shyt. Sega dont fail me now. I hope to be gettin my dragoon on soon. This year, right? RIGHT?!

 

There are very few reasons for a ninja to turn on and watch the ol silver screened idiot box. Previously, there were only 2 shows that i felt were worth my time, or at least at the top of a small list of watchables. First the obvious one, The Simpsons. Been going longer than most decades hang around for, which i hear is about 9, give or take a year or so. Yep, the simpsons are coming up on their 14th season soon assuming our sun stays around for that long. Or the Movie (sorry no link yet :(... The other, The DailyShow. Both these fine fine tributes to things funny, though well worth my and your time easily, still get little eyeball play from me due to my so few hours in front of the tube. And as of late another has come into my focus. One named Sealab2021. Good lord, these be grand! Irreverence in its finest. I found a link where one may actually DL all (?) the eps and play them back to back for 3 straight hours... then again back to back to back for 6 hours just to show they CAN to their friends so they can sleep well at night. Shallow individuals indeed. Well, i do recommend DLing these but ALSO watching the show on Cartoon Network's Adult Swim. But to your own devices one to widdle away. I need scissors. 61.

 

This is the ALL NEW Remind Shinhobbes to Make a New Poll Section.

Make it fast, and sexy.

 

Way of the Samurai is the shiznitybangbang, blurb coming. Now? Sleep.

---


Top TEN reasons why ninja now owns an Xbox:

10. It can be lifted to great heights and dropped on people unworthy of breathing space.

9. This is how he shows THE MAN, Microsoft, that HE AINT taking the man's shit anymore and is only really buying the machine of Satan to...uh... research the... uh, evil. Yeah.

8. Bungie Bungie Bungie.

7. If lost at sea controller can be used as anchor, and if lost on deserted island can use to huddle under when the gusty, stingy storms blow and the weather's bad faces arise.

6. Progressive Scan DVD player. It make for DVD enjoyfull as like in dreamland.

5. The gentile hum of the system can help him to sleep. Its like the ocean. A tiny mechanical ocean that is plugged into the wall and his TV.

4. It makes a great stand for my dreamcast!

3. Panzer, Tekki/Brainbox/SteelBattalion, UnrealChamp, HotD3, ToeJam and Earl, etc., ... i.e. it plays XBox games.

2. Got it on the cheap.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY HE OWNS AN XBOX...!   1. So he doesnt have to immediately pay Shin back. :P

Ninja
"Fat makes you think crazy things"

"The only question is where do i pay?"
Fred liked his animals too much if you know what i mean.
You do?! Great! cause we dont.

Ive been pretty damn busy the last few days. Lots of things happened in the last few days. Ive been wanting to put up the E3 stuff ive perused in from the last show but since i hadnt gone im still a bit bitter. Bitter about how i didnt go, bitter about how many people i know didnt go and bitter at how E3 wasnt much of a show this year as far as NEW news goes. I do however have a small list of games i think one should keep a keen eye (or two) on this year (and later). Ive also been playing alot more PS1 AND NEW PS2 games for once. Its kinda weird. Weird in a i-could-get-used-to-this kinda way. NOT a man-i-wish-i-hadnt-seen-that-old-man-n3kkid kinda weird. Wait, thats more grotesque than weird. Anyways, its a GOOD weird. A welcome weird. Way of the Samurai and Metal of Honor: Frontline, both for PS2, are gonna be in next post. But anyways, like i was saying...

 

In NO particular order, from E3, Ninja's eyes are on (and a few thoughts ;)...

Doom3(looking sexier and sexier...), Full Throttle 2(bout time!), DeusEx The Movie(please be good please be good, et el), WarCraft3(hybrid sku sexy), Myst Online(Its Online, and its Myst), NeverwinterNights(You have been turned into a newt), Deus Ex 2(its pronounced DAY-oos Ecks!), Max Payne2(LOOK AT MY GUNS!), RtWolfenstein:expansion(Nazis are bad, mkay), IGN.MAC(...BOUT TIME! part 2), Stuntman("Make it fast...and sexy"), Crimson Sea(i...uh cant remember what this is...), Evolution Skateboarding(MetalGear Skatboarding), Dynasty Tactics (Koei are fish, teehee), DoA Xtreme BeachVolleyball(BoobBall), Altered Beast: GotR, Revenge o Shinobi (OH GOOD GOD!), Yoshi's Island, Zelda: The Four Swords (Zelda Hyper Fighting CE 2 EX +a), Silent Scope (GBA sniping, yay!), CY Girls (sounds like a pron site), Silent Scope3 (Snipy snipy 3), Rygar (and the lord gavith..?), ZOE:2nd runner (i think ill 2sn run my ass to the store when this comes out), Contra:Shattered Soldier (no more Treasure but its got some goodies), 1080°: White Storm (Miamoto-san bring me some snowboarding fun!), Wario World (IMA GONNA WEEN!), Disney's Magical Mirror (sort of like that other "RPG" one only not at all), AutoModellista (Now, this be some celshadded racing... well, it IS!), GTA4:Vice City (if you dont know this acranym, then you ...dont know your acranyms?), FFXI (gee, i wonder what class Shin is gonna be...*cough*), GuiltyGearXX (X *snicker* i make a funny about S-E-X!), GoldenSun2 (shouldnt you guys be working on Shining Force 4?!), Res0 (even zombies have a story, like fred. He loves his grape soda), PS2 NetAdaptor US$39.99 (aka, How to scerw american gamers out of a hard drive, a love story by SCEA), XBox Live US$49.99 (Microsoft online AGAIN. Gamers wait for system crashes...), Ninja Gaiden (And to think, they have time to make a little game like this what with all their sports titles based on breasts), Game and Watch Gallery 4 (watch not included), Castlvannia:WNC/HoD (belmont what?), Super Ghouls and Ghosts (the game is super, not the Ghouls nor Ghosts), Kururin Paradise (nothing to shake a stick at... wait...), Motoracer Advance (DAMN fine looking, mmhmm), Rayman3 GBA (definetly definitly good, definitly), Duke Nukem Advance ("you lily livered bottom feeding algae sucker"), Metroid Fusion (for GBA and the REAL metroid 4), GameEye (GBA camera YAY! not as wacky as GB camera, BOO!), PSO Collection (buy it, love it. Later: eat popcicle), Doom II GBA (masta classic), Super Monkey Ball GBA (Marble Monkey Madness), PSO (all systems GO!), Pinball of the Dead (made by W.O.W. the House o the Dead creators, wierd eh?) Ecks V Sever2 (FPS GBA goodness), Kirby GBA (Ninja and HAL sittin in a tree...), Panzar Dragoon Orta (das anat ist erwacht), MegaManZero (OH, you mean ROCKMAN), StreetFighterAlpha/Zero3 (can anyone stop this tiny fighting machine?!), MegaMan PS2 (..i...i dont think that is the real title...), Kingdom Hearts (Disney and square try to fix Brave Fencer Goofy Tactics...good GOD, im tired, sorry folks, bare with me, only... a few to go...), Star Fox Advance (StarX who?), SegaGT2002 (Xbox Turismo), Unreal Championship (Xbox exclusive? doh!), Onimusha 2 (real dead guy's face in game... thats wierd), Colin McRae 3 3 (rally rally good...sorry), RERacing (i have no fucking idea why i wrote this down nor what the fuck it IS... but its gonna ROCK!), SteelBattalion (41 buttons and a online battle play? nothin. Ask me to bake a toast? now THATS a challenge), Rayman3 (UbiSoft is based in france. French people are funny. Hence, Rayman will be funny...and...sexy? They also smell like fish. Make your OWN asumptions), Turok Evo (i am adon... wait isnt that the name of that dman samurai d00d in final fight and SFZ?!), Super Monkey Ball 2 (Sega loves them some Nintendo booty), Splinter Cell (Clancy writes a book and someone makes a game with name of said book that has very little to do with book), Tork (chalk), Project Ego (Black and White and Sexay), Psychonauts (Tim Schafer...uh shouldt you be WORKING on Full Throttle 2? Oh, wait, you left Lucas after their games started to turn to poop. i forgot), Brute Force (Halo killer? prolly not, Must buy? maybe.), Red Faction 2 (ONLY PS2?! why? WHY?! <insert futile web petition here>), Legend of Zelda (Cel shadded and kickin ass fucking), Rollercoaster Tycoon2 (you mean those TWO other games werent sequels?), Metroid Prime (its like Metroid only FPS and alot less not FPS), Civ 3 Exp (wait, this is possible?! GAH!), SOCOM Navy Seals (shoot fellow americans, great. Oh, its THE other online PS2 game, by the way :), SW Galaxies (Bioware is working on it... it MUST be good...right? RIGHT?!), Gladius (i dont know what this is either, but it sounds kick assery), SW:KotOR (i think the market needs 12...yes, 12 star wars games right now), Indiana Jones (fuck this up and i swear...!), Bounty Hunter (did i say 12 SW games? i meant 13!), Mech Assualt (Mechwarrior4.5?), Tenchu3 (mmm... ninjas), UT2003 (M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!), Worlds of Warcraft (Phantasy Orcs Online), MGS2: Substance (aka MGS: Should-have-been-already), The Getaway (this game ran off with my heart...then my wallet, a game gotta eat ya know!), Tomb Raider 60 or so (a good TR after 4 bad ones and one good original? lets hope so), Fighter Maker2 (make a terrible yet hilarious fighting game...again!), Breath of Fire (capcom, you and your cel shading... ohhhh, thats our capcom!), Ratchet And Clank (could be another two person team of adventure un orgininality. Oops, that "could be" was supposed to be "is". Still looks fun, though), Super Mario Sunshine (im feeling happeee!), GTConcepts/Africa (mo GranTurizzl, j0), Otagi (From Soft is going to town this year!), Ikaruga (Treasure), Gungrave (from the mind of Yasuhiro Nightow, Kosuke Fujishima, Sega and RED. Sure to impress. The reason why RED [Sakura Taisen/Wars, Thousand ARMS] is now part of Sega's extensive familia),

 

I know there a whole shibang that ive missed but due to my terrible handwriting and the fact a brain such as mine can only function with sleep behind it... well, you know the schpiel. Sorry, for no links. I think you kids are big now so you can provide yourselves with the means. ^_^||

<discuss: I WENT TO E3 2002!! Ok, not really, but this is what i think!>

 

Bit update! Porche conversion and a Lancer VII and Accord WITH LIGHTS!

 

Some people have WAY to much time on their hands. Some people REALLY like Katsuhiro Otomo's most famous animé and manga series, Akira. Combine these people and you get a really wierd mish-mash of limbs and flesh. Something like a four armed, three legged freak with one head that GIVES you answers to questions even though you never opened your dern mouth and another head thats constantly shouts "TETSUOOOOOOO!" becuase he thinks its funny to throw it in at every oportuned time. And sometimes, JUST sometimes you get people like Matus. Matus has taken it up to himself to construct Kanada's bike from said animé. So far its looking fairly doable. I kinda want to see how this will turn out.

<discuss: KAAAANAAAADAAAAAA!!!!>

 

Pirate watch! PvP knows whats up!

---


Times Ninja's Comp has died: 12

New name for main boot disc: HD DiesLikeTheBest x12

Ninja
"welcome ot the machine...they call it ridding the gravy train"