We need to think of an AWESOME name for this game... Lets see.
Its COOL and...
hmm.. its got GIRLS in it...

E3. Gone again. Missed again. Lots of new news. Lots of old news. Done in a completely random order, with very little effort, no consistently, mostly all console and biased as all hell: i introduce The Agenda's First Annual Official E3 Armchair Awards Summary! Note: No, i wasnt there. Only in spirit. Ok, not even in spirit. It was busy working too.


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Award for Ninja's MOST Anticipated Fighting Game That Was Playable:

SNK versus CAPCOM: Chaos. Going to be the biggest Neo cart EVER this game has alot of hype behind it. Besides having rehashed sprites on the SNK side for everyone save Earthquake (thus far) the Capcom side has everything redone. The fuzzy intro alone was enough to keep me dancing until the game comes out. Dancing? What the hell am i talking about?! Moving along...

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Award for Biggest 2004 Halo-Killer:

Halo 2. Ok, so this was a given right? It kinda sucks now cause all my Halo matched look that much worse now that ive seen the sequel in motion and such. Everything to melee combos to double weapons to immersion up the ying yang. And of course the new weaps and vehicles, better AI and new levels. The visuals, all in-game, The usual but slightly more. The trailer (linked up there) is the demo that Bungie is going to release first playable. Yippee!

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Award for Biggest 2004 Halo2-Killer:

Half Life 2. Just see the videos. Stop, breath a bit. Repeat.

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Award for Most Dramatic/Oddest Misuse of the English Language:

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. No, he really eats snakes. He does. Looks like its back to Zanzibar as the jungle setting suggests. For how much MGS2 was a clean, though realistic setting MGS3 has a wholly organic feeling and much more complex looking. Ahhh...

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Award for the "Holy Shit is that Real?!" reaction:

Gran Turismo 4. Ok, i really thought that this would be a tie between HalfLife2 and this but those rally shots look so real i really did ask myself...well, the question up there. I still cant tell if they are doctored or if there is some new programming trick that creates a portal inside your system that unlocks PS3 power to be harness if only for a second. Oops, made a PS3 reference. Shit, better switch gears...

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Most Used Organ for Viewing Game Trailers:

Your Eyeballs. Yes! Good recovery, ninja.

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Best E3 comic of 2004:

Penny Arcade. Ok, so this one is only funny to the people who KNOW this so called Samurai of the Tube. Works on a few levels at least. Levels... halo2... mmmm...

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Videos pour alles! A small selection of vids that ive collected.

-Castlevania: Lament of Innocence. (PS2) (GBA)

-Doom3 (Xbox, PC)
-Fable (Xbox)

-World of Warcraft (PC)

-Starcraft: Ghost (XB, GC, PS2)

-Final Fantasy Crytsal Chronicals (GC)

-Vectorman (PS2)

-AlteredBeast (PS2)

-Kunoichi: Shinobi 2 (PS2)

-Sword of Mana(GBA)

-Conker Live and Uncut (Xbox)

-Custom Robo (GC)

-F-Zero(GC)

-Zelda: the Four Swords(GC)

-Mario Golf (GC)

-Mario Kart: Double Dash (GC)

-Wario World (GC)

There are so many more... checkout Gametrailers.com

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Enter the Matrix. All systems.

Ive seen so much better from Shiny but given the time constraints ill forgive them this time. Quite competent gunplay if not familiar but horrid driving sequences and cutscenes sometime seem like they spent the day golfing or blew the money on coke and whores that day instead. Wachoski written and "directed" i guess i ruined it by EXPECTING things again. Like decency allaround. I guess i forgot it was a US made, movie-based game. Best thing to come outta buying the game-at EB when you buy the game you can preorder the Animatrix and get your money back (20 bones) in a gift-voucher type thing that you can come back later and use towards purchasing that Mary Kate and Ashley game you've been eyeballing all this time.

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The Matrix Reloaded.


I want it noted that im the only nerd that ive come in contact with that liked this flic (outside my like-minded buddies). Maybe i lowered my standards. Or maybe your an idiot. I admit there were some scenes that i might have done differently but hey, like Shin told me the other day, "everyone has an opinion. I eat poopoo for din-din." Honest. I was there.

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Bruce Almighty.

Steve. Carell. Very well paced and a bit short-cutted when it came to exposition, but hey, its about God. Or...something. Quite a few in-jokes and as usual Carrey is brilliant but not always believable.

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Viewtiful Joe demo is a must for any platformer fans. Its in that new Preview Disc that only Gamestop and company is selling off the shelf. You get it free when you buy a Gamecube at EB.

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Times Ninja has beaten Viewtiful Joe Demo:

about 9 times to date.

Ninja
"SORRY sir i dont play you RICH people with your fancy UNDERWEAR"

Ninja
"Its JUST like having sex! The only difference is im having some!"

Ninja
"Old Navy ads give me the wanna-kill blues"

Ninja
"Shall I give them a big hello sir? - Cheddar coming boys!"

Yo mutha looks like a walking red toaster. No, really. Shes standing right next to you, son. Snap.

The pre-E3 fires have been set... Someone told me sony was gonna go all pre-e3 out. That someone was right. I actually dont know anyone who said that. Love me. I told myself i wasnt going to go see The Matrix until after the masses of schmucks had already seen it enough times over and over to keep them from coming back. But i broke down and am joining said schmucks. Good help me.


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Ok, the price drop is official, PS2s are now $179.99. This is to make way for the newer v9 PS2s with all the niftastic feature stated in a previous post. 20 bucks though? MS and Nintendo might drop their systems 50 bones! Thats like THIRTY less bones!! Thats alot of bones!!! Ill shutup.

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Virtual On Mars will have HOW many playable characters? 40, i hear.

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The PSP is also official. Sony's NEW PORTABLE SYSTEM! Its gonna run offa sony's UMD format: lil 3" discs that hold about 1.8 gigs each. There are alot of other cool things like the backlit, 480x272, 16x9, 4.5" screen, the stereo speakers, the PS2 usb connectivity. But the one thing that really makes me happy is the no region encoding so when im done spending more that i should on a system i really dont NEED ill only need one to play them all. Amen.

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Sonic Heroes pics up at la magicbox. Sega's got something special in store for us at E3.

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There's this cool Zelda DVD i picked up today.

It was only 11 bucks so i thought 'what the hell'. I, or tather, my budski Jason spotted this green DVD box with what appeared to have a picture of the master sword on it. Bought it on the spot. No subtitles though, so i have NO idea whats really going on. Theres interviews with a whole bunch of people speaking japanese. One of em is Miyamato. Another one has a mustache. Uh... another one speaks really fast. Yeah. There is a cool little featurette on the disc though: you can watch the ending sequences of all the zeldas upto Majoras Mask from the boss battle to the very end of the credits. Then you can see the same thing with commentary. Swell. If you speak japanese. This disc only gets a low rating cause i dont know whats going on most of the time thanks to my laziness of not even TRYING to understand what little i COULD. So really the missing ramens are actually marks to MY shortcommings.

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Golden Axe:the duel. Sega Saturn.


Amazing, amazing, amazing crap. Low frames of animation really top off this messy mix of bad play mechanics. It gets one whole ramen for its liniage to a game great, a half ramen cause it has somewhat decent character design when its not horrid and a half ramen cause it was dirt cheap. Moron here gets more facts mixed up with his diluted fiction someone should link his review. Here maybe.

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In other somewhat disapointing PSO news...

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Halo2? more like Halo-POO. HA! Take that Mr Game That Will Probably Make Me Cry Cause Its So Good. Take that indeed.

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The Maxx, 1993. Image Comics.

Great comic deserved of anyone with a love of good story telling, wit and beating stuff up. Not much more i can say other than pick them all up if you can. They sell CHEAP on ebay. Sam Kieth's art and characters do so much better than what MTV had done to the same-named show years before it.

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I got a few emails awhile back asking what was my game collection like so i took a quick pic here.


Can you guess what is what?

Hey, they needed to be kept safe, ok.

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Times Ninja's Computer has exploded to date:

about 52 times

Ninja
"Hybrid Rainbow..."

Dont WORRY Stevens,
I parked your car MYSELF,
there's NOTHING to worry about
...save explosive fire, of course. Coffee?

I dont know if it really NEEDS to be said, but, the Halo 2 trailer still makes me shiver. E3 is going to be bigger than its been in a long long time.


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I know its a little late for April Fool's but Konami - KCEJ, put in a late one. Snake Eater? Only in japan. It does look pretty spectacular though. The new water and fire effects make my mouth wa-da. The vid is a little short and absent of speech and subtitles par Kojima's norm but a very interesting watch. Snake EATS a snake. Priceless. Looks like its gonna be back in Zanzibar, too. Yes.

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X[men]2. Aside from the fucked-nicknamed-acronym, its a damn fun watch.


They did good. Still a little weird for you Marvel purists out there, the story and the characters were very fun to watch. Without spoiling too much let me tell you this. The Xmen are triumphant. No, really. They beat the bad guys and got away JUST in time. Eh, hem. All cynics aside, this was really worth my $10.50 because of one thing: it got my back into lovin' comics. Notice the lack of the 'g' in that last statement. That means im loving it more than a simple 'loving' can love. Gone is the 'g' here is the apostraphy. Wait, that little squiggly is an apostraphy, right? Whatever. Yeah. The first thing i did after seeing the movie was shift through all my comics then proceed to sift through the comics of others to wax nostalgic with some fellow nerds. It was beautiful. The next thing i did was through my self, ass first, onto ebay where the remaining money which i was saving for trivial things like rent, food, internet was to go only to the function of getting Ninja MORE comics and MORE xmen cards. My last inventory left me with about (after my pal ryan graciously donated $15 bucks worth of comics) about 1000 or so issues. And more on the way. I guess if you used to collect comics and you want to keep your money id suggest to you see A Mighty Wind instead. I hear its quite funny and you cant go wrong with Chris Guest.

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The new Xbox Mag has a VERY cool little trailer of the new Animatrix due out in june. It has little snippets of all the shorts in a whole giving a mere glimpse at each one. Online the fourth (of 9) eps is out. I think they are ONLY going to show 4 online as to keep you hungry mongrels from DLing em and not buying the DVD instead. Though im sure there is a handful of sweds whom already own the lot of em on VCD right now. But, eh.

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I would like to take a second now to respond to a nice reader email that was sent to our webmaster a few days ago. It is entitled "A WinXP patch". Danny here has a question for us:
"Dear Agendas
Hello,This is a WinXP patch

I wish you would like it.
-Danny"

Dear Danny,
First of all "Danny" that wasnt a question at all. And second, for some reason the 162k file didnt work on our servers or computers. Then when we put it on our buddy's WindowsXP comp it simple made smoke come out the top and fire to break out. Our buddy also started to cry but im not sure if that was directly or indirectly related to your "patch". Sorry, we didnt "like" the "patch" as it never did anything but cause chaos. How strange. I do have a question though: how many holes did a drunk, blind man have to permeate into your mother before the right one was found and allowed you to be shat out shortly thereafter? This, "danny" is what we like to call a rhetorical question, you neednt be writing us back as im sure anything written in such eloquent prose such as the wonderful use of the English language above will be ignored for future reference. Thanks guys! And keep that mail comin in!

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Sprited Away

Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi loses only half a ramen for its still-kinda-reaching quality that i cant really name. Excellent flic. Best Miyazaki yet. John Lasseter still comes off as an ass/doofus, in case you were wondering. You werent? Well, forget the last two lines of this blurb.

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Castlevania: Aria Of sorrow. Symphony who?


Im only 50% through my first game so im not sure if its ok to rate it already but from what ive played so far its exceeded all i wanted in the cart. There's this dude here that you meet that im sure you can play as later. "His name is Alucar -er, i mean Arikado" ^_-|| You actually start out as this fella by the name of Soma Cruz who can wield all sorts of pointy objects to which one may disperse baddies with. There's a new feature where Soma can acquire the "souls" of enemies at random and use them as powers and abilities of sorts. Best looking Castlevania ever. Seriously, its amazing how much they wretched outta the GBA. Lights off on my SP, the screen STILL looked incredible and easy to play. Its interesting, this one takes place only 36 years in our future.

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Real? Cars? Ridge Racer gone real? Well, Skylines and STi s at least.

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New shots of Shinobi2. Sort of. Speaking of which i need to find me a copy of Super Shinobi 2 on MegaDrive...

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The next Street Fighter isnt going to be a sequel to 3 but of 2 instead. Sweetness.

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Namco and Sega merger fell through. For now.

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Best Candidate for Guile in Upcoming Street Fighter Sequel of the Day:

Kurt Russell circa 1994, in Stargate.

Ninja
"Wolfman's gots nards?!"

We honor the late Jack Cunningham. He died taking this picture. He was a brave man. A brave... very stupid... man.

Shin here! I had some notes around here on a post I was going to do a long time ago. I had gone to CNN.com to look up some interesting stories, but then I decided it was trivial bullshit and opted to not post after all. Or... maybe I just got lazy. Either way, I thought it might be funny to hit on those stories now that they're really old. Now if only I could find those fucking notes!! I think I threw them away. Well... now that I've wasted both your and my time, here's some MORE trivial bullshit!

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(Old story that I actually remember) Dolly the sheep died. You hear about this?! It died of lung cancer, and they're trying to figure out if it was because it was a cloned animal or not. Dolly was only a couple years old, but it developed certain other diseases (diseases that DIDN'T kill it... poor

fucking thing) that most sheep don't get until much older. Rapid aging?! I don't know! THEY don't know!! And we were going to do this to humans?! Wait... I'm sure we already did. Some sicko in his lab out in Buttfuck, Alabama...

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Okay, I just went to CNN.com again... and I am sadly disappointed. There's a bunch of stupid stories about Bush and the war and blah, blah, blah. I'd rather not talk about all that bunk. Most of us know enough as it is to give plenty of opinion on it. I... will pass at this moment.

 

I did get that picture up there from CNN.com, though. Pretty cool. Poor little Mercury. Must have a chronic case of penis envy... what with being next to the massive sun and all that. All the other planets are lookin' over at him and laughin' their asses off. Poor Mercury, indeed. He's gotta' deal with being right next to Venus, too. The poor guy's had a crush on her for aeons, but does

she pay any attention? Noooo... she's off somewhere with that Earth guy. She says it's because he's sensitive. "He supports life, " she says. Someone should tell her he's the only planet with diseases. She's gonna' end up getting ricketts... or worse, humans.

 

Uhh... too much? Poo on you. When I get on a roll like that, it's hard to stop me. You're lucky I stopped there. I was gonna go on to talk about those crazy brothers, Neptune and Pluto. Always playin' tricks on us and switching back and forth. Crazy. Crazy!!

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Oh, King... I'm sorry, I really like Evanescence. You're right about Bring Me To Life, though. I hate the guy in that song. Her voice, though... I love it. You should find the song My Immortal. It's really good, in my opinion.

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All right. I've typed enough here, I think. I guess it's about time to sign off. Bye y'all! See ya next time!

Shinhobbes
"So Italian. So Intense. (I love this shirt...)"

Going to see X2:TheWorstNameForA Sequel[almost]Ever tonight. Now, i know i say that all the time, that im going to see a movie. You guys must think i say that just to TELL you where im going to be just in case, oh i dunno, you are a very lonely and very attractive young lady who ALSO might be hitting up the same movie, in this case X2, and you wanted to perhaps get a bit eat eat later or maybe find someplace warm to keep the rain offa our heads. But no, thats not the case. I see many movies all the time. In fact whenever my buds or even a single buddy suggests a movie is worth seeing or maybe someone who isnt really a buddy at all or perhaps a very lonely and very attractive young lady i might shell out the 9.50 to see said movie. It gets to a point where they stack up and i only really report back on one or maybe two. Not that you guys probably give a shit or anything. But this time i promise to have a full report. Given im not playing my 2600 or scowering the web for more info on the pillows or trying to fix my NeoGeo or anything else. Yeah. So i guess this Brian Singer flic is supposed to be better than the first one or something. Everyone ive talking to, well, i tried not to listen to when they spoke about the movie said it was damn fun to watch. I suspect nothing less.

Thanks to everyone for the Bday wishes and all that. One did stick out though, something i really dont know what is means but its damn crazy. Thanks mystery person whom i think i know through BitChargs.

Ninja
"you think you can RAM with me? huh!"

Scratch my back? Well, of course i can...uh, scratch...my back. Hey, fuck you guys!

I dont know how many hours i spent in the droves of Phantasy Star Online cause the hour counter per character only went up to 999 hours. I did that with about two of my characters. Out of 8. Granted a rather large portion of that time was dealt delegating my points of view and general knowledge unto others with similar interests, chatting, but that still counts as time. Ive never spent that much time in ANY game before or since. I think its a winning bet to guess that i hold the game a little closer to my heart than - lets say - 4x4 Evolution or Gauntlet Legacy. Ok, so i hold most ALL of my games higher than those two but you get the vivid picture. So when i heard that Sonic Team was making PSO epsIII a turn-based CARD battle game i was a little shocked, a little offended. I try to keep my self open to new and catastrophically-changed things. Zelda for instance, love it. Would marry it if physically possible. So i wait and hope and pray for [one day ice-cream] ...


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Sammy and ArcSys jumped RIGHT into another damn fighter of the crazy, over-the-top uh...craziness with Guilty Gear XX #reload. So since when did Arc think itself Capcom?

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Kiki's Delivery Service.


Im really starting to get tired of listening to John Lasseter talk. A man which i had respect for before he started babbling on about something i take dear, anime. Though, ill probably watch this in English on account of Phil Hartman, even though his voice completely doesnt fit the character of Jiji. Like all of Miyazaki's flics this one is so worth watching and owning. Kiki is a little more fluffy than the others ive seen outta Studio Ghibli but very enjoyable.

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Square Enix USA announced their E3 game lineup:

*Final Fantasy XI (Windows, PS2) - beta test will begin in June

*Unlimited Saga (PS2) - June 2003, with Dolby Pro Logic II support

*Final Fantasy X-2 (PS2) - Fall 2003, the first true sequel to FF series

*Star Ocean: Till the End of Time (PS2) - Spring 2004, with Dolby Pro Logic II support

*Drakengard (PS2) - Spring 2004, known as Drag-on Dragoon in Japan

*Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles (GC) - 2003 release

*Final Fantasy Tactics Advance (GBA) - 2003 release

*Sword of Mana (GBA) - 2003 release

["borrowed" from Magicbox]

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The newly appointed SNK USA prez, Ben Herman, has stated a new SamSpirits and Metal Slug [5] are and have been in the works for some time for the "next gen systems". Also noted Baseball stars Online is in the works.

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Playmore announced their new "ground step" system for SNK v CAPCOM Chaos. I think it allows players to attack while running or dashing in. Or the name for some new Japanese dance craze. Or both.

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System Rumor through EB, Gamestop and various online news sites are the three big system makers are readying for another price drop to coincide with E3.

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Ninja Birthday of the Day:

Uh... me.

Ninja
"AHHHH!!! MY FEET!!! THEY IS ABLAZE!!!!!!!"